I <MELT> NJ: Raising Two Jersey Girls in the Long Winter of 2026

“Love and kindness are the most punk things you can do right now… A form of resistance.”

-David Byrne (inspired by John Cameron Mitchell)

I was on a hospital elevator bringing my newborn daughter’s car seat in from the frozen parking lot when I found out Alex Pretti was a nurse. Watching the video of his murder as I laid sleep-deprived and dazed on a plastic couch the morning after Ronni’s birth had already snapped my mind out of the fragile cocoon that forms around parents and their babies in the hours after a newborn bursts into this universe — little magic beings, equal parts all-powerful and completely helpless.

Veronica Wren Biskupic, born at 10:08am on Fri. 1/23/26

I wondered if the other dad on the elevator with me, also clinging a cold empty car seat on our way back up to the postpartum ward, was having the same existential thoughts as me about the world we had just brought innocent life into. I nodded in agreement in the cafeteria as I heard healthcare workers on their lunch break discuss the horror of someone just being shot for no reason again on the streets of America. I looked at our nurse with even more respect as she talked us through her game plan for getting back to work in the snowstorm that was forecasted for the morning after we were discharged.

Despair, denial, and delusion are words that have bubbled up in my mind often as of late even before this past weekend. It seems to me that this current era of social media is designed to drive us to one of those d-words to keep us divided and engaged while the richest of the rich get even richer.

Thankfully another d-word has kept me from succumbing to any of those extremes: Daughters.

Margo keeps asking to give Ronni piggyback rides, and it’s extra cute because she’s calling them “Pony Back” rides

But it can be maddening to have two little girls at a time with so many big questions and such few answers…

I don’t know how some of my former college classmates can be regularly bringing food to people too afraid to leave their homes because of ICE’s Twin Cities occupation, while others from the same school share videos of Kirk Cameron insisting that Jesus would support the federal government’s fascist and hateful actions.

I don’t know why when I tell a man that I personally know many of the people marching in the streets, he still clings to the delusion that these are paid protestors and agitators, instead of quiet heroes loudly standing up for their neighbors.

I don’t know how our government can call innocent murder victims like Renée Good and Alex Pretti “domestic terrorists” and still have support from so many people.

I don’t know how any parent can learn about 5-year-old Liam Ramos being used as bait in MN or 6-year-old Annabella Rodriguez wandering the freezing streets of NJ asking, “Where’s Papi?” and not be filled with rage against this machine.

The resistance in Minnesota gives me a lot of hope, but I think we all need to be flipping more metaphorical tables at the temple before it’s too late. This descent into government-sanctioned madness is shocking, but it’s not surprising considering so many black and brown people have been warning us that this the path we were on for years. White people, especially in purple and red states, need to step up more and say enough is enough in whatever way you can.

Only you know what you’re truly capable of — maybe it’s calling your senator or congress person, maybe it’s going to a protest, maybe it’s admitting to your loved ones that you got carried away supporting the wrong horse in this crazy race and you’re ready to turn to the page — but damnit we all need to do more.

Just a few days in Margo is already an incredible big sister to Ronni, who she mostly calls “my baby.”

I’ve clearly been thinking a lot about this as I hold Ronni in the middle of the night, and play with Margo on her snow day, and shovel out our plowed-in driveway three times in 24 hours, and the question I keep coming back to the most is: how can I prepare my daughters so they continue to shine in this dark and crazy world?

Margo was a big help shoveling out the driveway

This is best answer I have for now:

I want my girls to be like salt:

Of the earth, yet floating in the stars,

Enhancing the flavor of everyone they meet,

Reliable in a pinch and lucky when they spill,

Coarse around the edges, but crystal clear in their conviction,

Warning label required for hearts that can’t handle their power,

A permanent place of honor at the table.

I want my girls to be like salt,

Melting ICE with the slightest touch,

Clearing a path for all their neighbors,

Warming the world on the coldest days,

I want you to be like salt.

My Song of the Day: Join Ice by Jesse Welles

Margo Lake at one-day old next to Ronni Wren at one-day old