I <FLAG> NJ: Thanklessly Carrying the Green Bay Packers on my Back from 991 Miles Away

Owning a flag pole is a huge undertaking, not for the faint of heart. One wrong move on the pole can throw off the balance of the whole universe. I’ve taken that cosmic responsibility extremely seriously ever since I rolled the dice and somehow successfully drilled one onto our front porch during our first year of home ownership.

Tara and Margo pose with our Christmas flag

Over the past three years, I’ve amassed a collection of flags for almost any situation…

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Pride, a Patriotic gnome flag for more standard Independence Days, a peace symbol American flag when I want to send a message that being pro-war and pro-violence is dangerously dumb and embarrassing — like a good lapsed Catholic, I even have a special display for ordinary times between my different sacred events: a yellow smiley face flag.

Margo blowing bubbles during secular ordinary times.

But the most important flag we own is the one that waves Green and Gold. Growing up in Wisconsin, my family had a Packers flag we’d display on our balcony for game days… or maybe we’d put it up for the whole weekend in football season… The rules each game were set in stone, but surprisingly fluid week-to-week. Sometimes we’d forget to take it down right away and then we’d have to leave it up every day until the Packers lost because we couldn’t risk anything that might throw off the team’s mojo. If we somehow missed hanging the flag for a game and the Packers won, then it couldn’t go back up until the team’s next loss to help preserve the streak. My memory may be wrong, but I seem to recall, thankfully rare, abysmal first half performances by the Pack that would lead to someone running up to the balcony at halftime to retire the flag for the rest of regulation to reset our luck.

On second thought, I do like to brag ‘cause I’m mighty proud of that wrinkled Packer flag.

I’m now carrying on the tradition almost 1,000 miles from Lambeau in North Jersey. On Sunday, I flirted dangerously close with kickoff before putting up our flag for the Packers’ home opener less than an hour before the coin toss. Thankfully, my hard work paid off and Green Bay shellacked the Lions 27-13.

After a statement win like that, I of course had to keep the flag flapping for a 24-hour victory lap, but when I got home from work last night I realized I had gotten myself into a pennant pickle: the Packers have a short week now, they play the Commanders on Thursday.

I was left with a risky decision: Should I take the flag down for just three days to recharge for week 2 or double down and let it keep rolling proudly through the next game?

Unsure of what to do, I turned to my family group text, who unanimously and immediately responded I should let it keep waving. My brother Vinnie even declared I should keep it up all season, so that’s what I plan to do… as long as it keeps helping Titletown reclaim its glory.

I am honestly a little nervous this post will jinx the whole season, but here’s hoping that flag doesn’t come down once until after Super Bowl LX… I’m feeling pretty confident, but I do want to end with a disclaimer: if any of my neighbors see me shuffling onto the porch, cursing under my breath at about 9:30/10pm-ish Thursday night, please know I definitely haven’t gone insane. I’m just doing my part to get my team another Lombardi trophy.

My Song of the Day: Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger

My Bonus Song of the Day: Wavin’ Flag by K’Naan

I couldn’t find a pic of the Valentine’s flag on the porch, but it also makes a great fort roof.

A great flag paired with an equally great mug.

Gnome of the Brave

“So hurry up and run to the one that you love and blind him with your kindness. And he’ll make war, oh war, on who you were before and claim all that has spoiled in your heart.”

Easter with my girls.

Margo’s second St. Patrick’s Day.